What Makes you a Great Parent?

 Raising kids is very tough and so thankless, and there's no thumb rule for doing it right. Still, certain points are an indispensable part of this dilemma. Lets discuss and share some wayout which can be done for the qualities that are essential in a super parent should have.

A Great Parent Knows When to Let Go

It's a fact: The major part of our job as parents is to eventually become dispensable. So, above all, we need to encourage our children to do things for themselves. We need to teach them to think very independently, solve their own problems, and believe deeply in their own capabilities.

In the interest of time and efficiency, parents tend to do things for their children that the kids could easily do for themselves. In an effort to prevent them from feeling pain and discomfort, we rush in and rescue our children, rather than allowing them to learn from their mistakes. Kindly remember the ad “ Chhota Packet”

By the time a child is 2, child is capable of dressing him/herself. Of course, it needs to be taught how to do so, and they need clothing that is easy to slip on and off. Yet so many parents continue to dress kids even when they're preschoolers, robbing them of the opportunity to develop capability and relish their accomplishments. Similarly, it's important to encourage children to consider the consequences of their actions than to try to protect them from making mistakes. Suppose, for example, a child leaves his/her bicycle in the driveway. Sure, it's tempting to put it away for his/her. But it's far smarter to help them explore possible outcomes by asking, 'What do you think will happen if you leave the bike outside overnight?' Chances are, once he/she's thought about it, he/she'll decide that it's best to put the bike away.

It isn't easy to watch our children fumble and stumble. But sometimes that's what it takes to help them become confident, capable, and independent individuals -- which should be every parent's thought.

 

A Great Parent Maintain Good Relationship

Children are affected by their parents' behavior towards the relationship in several ways. Research has shown that adults who are in caring relationship and being courteous are more effective parents. They're more patient and more attentive to their children's needs. Ill mannered parents, by contrast, are more inept when it comes to dealing with their children. They're inconsistent and sometimes harsh in the way they discipline. Overcome with their own problems, they are unable to adequately care for someone else. But beyond that, the kind of relation that a couple has profoundly affects the quality of the relationships that children will develop as they grow up. When kids watch their parents interact with one another respectfully, they get their first lessons in how to get along with other people. When they observe how their parents work through problems, they learn to resolve conflict. When they see their parents empathise with eachother, they feel comfortable and secure. In short, the strongest lessons children learn are from what goes on in their home, and the lessons of a good family environment will stay with them for life.

A Great Parent Finds Time for Fun

Great parents are jolly and playful parents, ones who always remember how important it is to have fun with their kids. That doesn't mean, of course, that mummy and papa need to be nonstop entertainers or amuse their kids every minute of the day. What it means is embracing the joy of a child's world and sharing it by being part of their play. It gives a child trust that he is part of them only.

As we run from one event to the next, we often underestimate the value of downtime. But simple play is deeply meaningful. Early games like “Luka chhupi” and “statute” teach children about attachment. Fantasy play helps children explore who they are and who they want to be. Playful wrestling builds physical confidence. Tossing a ball back and forth teaches athletic ability, sportsmanship, and cooperation. Play is also the way that children recover from life's upsets. They learn important emotions with their dolls or action figures. After getting a shot, they want to play doctor and pretend to give you a shot. This time, they're in command.

Overscheduled parents may think they don't have time for playing with dolls or building with blocks. But play can actually ease the stress of their busy lives. When they engage playfully with their children, they find that they suddenly have more energy and feel better about themselves and kids. After all, play engages us in child's world, and nothing better way is there to forge a deep and lasting connection.

 

A Great Parent Knows How to Say No

Many parents find that it's tough to be firm with their children. They can't set rules. They threaten but don't follow through with consequences. 'No mobile for a week,' a mom may tell her child in the afternoon, only to make an exception that very night. But the fact is, if we relinquish our parental authority, we are doing a disservice to our kids.

When children are young, they crave limits. They seek real rules, not imaginary ones. But by the time they reach adolescence, kids who don't see their parents as authority begin to look elsewhere for a code of conduct. They often find it in what we can call 'the second family,' the collective power of the peer group and pop culture. Immersed in this world, good kids act out in dangerous ways. They lie without guilt; they experiment with drugs and alcohol. They do these things because in the world of their second family, such behavior is acceptable.

The best way to protect kids from these influences is for parents to assert their authority with consistency and conviction from the time their children are young. Admittedly, doing so can be confusing -- for good reason. We are suspicious of being too rigid because we remember oppressive parenting ourselves or we see that it doesn't really work. We are wary of showing too much understanding for fear of producing overindulged, disrespectful kids who feel entitled to say and do whatever they can.

So what's the solution? The key is to strike a balance between offering our children support and empathy -- and simultaneously providing structure through clear expectations of how we would like them to behave. It is the constant, natural back and forth between love and limits that is the mark of a great parent.

A Great Parent Is Role Model

Every parent is eager to see their child grow up to be responsible, compassionate, trustworthy, and kind. But teaching values isn't the same as teaching a child to bat, kick a football, or play the guitar.

The best way to instill values is to be a strong and present role model. A lifetime spent with a kind and gental adult creates another generous adult. A childhood in which material goods aren't overemphasized produces kids who understands that they can't buy everything at the mall. Parents who demonstrate true sensitivity to a child's feelings and needs instill in him the ability to empathize with and care for others.

Values don't come from a textbook or from discussions about abstract concepts. Children learn values long before they have the ability to read about them or discuss them. Rather, values are taught during the ordinary interactions of everyday life. If a child likes and respects you and your values, he/she will want to embrace them and make them its own.

A Great Parent Shows a Child Endless Love

Showing a child endless love is at the key of being a great parent. This comes easily for most parents: Nature has programmed us to love our own children.

We show our love through affection, of course. Gushing over a baby, smothering a toddler with kisses, or offering a preteen a firm smile are silent ways to say 'I love you.' We also show our love by understanding what our children need at each stage of its life -- and providing it for them. For an infant, that involves being a source of security; for a toddler, that means providing endless encouragement. For a school-age child, it means being an inspiring teacher of life's lessons, and for a teen, it means giving timely and judicious advice.

Above all, though, we show our love by being a steady, reliable, and attentive presence in a child's life. This means spending quality time , developing strong family rituals and enjoying idle, quiet moments. No skills in parenting substitute for a mother's and father's attentive and committed presence. Being a good parent, nothing that makes us feel more vulnerable, and nothing that makes us feel more proud than knowing that, through our children, we have walked this earth and made a difference.